Dec 19 2008
Confessions of a Fat bulemic……
Hello!! Well I just got home from Florida and it was a good trip overall. The youngest person with us was 18 and we didn’t have any drama or whiners, it was wonderful!
Although, we had a good trip I couldn’t help but be a little depressed seeing all the couples; it made me wish I had someone there to share it with. I know that in good time I will have that special someone, but I can’t help but get impatient at times. Though the thing that bothered me the most was how uncomfortable I was with my weight and how I look. Seeing my skinny cousins in their shorts and looking nice in pictures kind of upsets me, because I am the ONLY one on the Kohls side who has a weight problem and I hate that. My weight issues are apart of the reason I started this blog, I thought if I got things off of my mind I would be able to keep on track once I got started making a change for myself.
The problem is, I don’t know how to get started or to motivate myself. I’ve been told all my life what I should do, eat less and exercise and eat healthier foods, but the thing is I really don’t eat a lot and I am not a big sweet eater. I do, however crave a lot of carbs which aren’t good and eating smart and exercise is easier said than done. See I have lost weight in the past, but by unhealthy measures (i.e. not eating or binging and purging) Yes, I did say purging. I have bulemic off and on since I was 13 and this is the first time I have spoken of it. I don’t know how to stop. There are times when I do good and go for months with out purging and I think I broke myself of the habit, then I get upset or frustrated ( I am an emotional eater too) and I jump right back into those bad habits again.
I also weigh myself everyday, and today was no different and on the scale was the highest number I can remember ever seeing. I am so mad at myself for letting it get so bad and it makes me more frustrated, especially since I will be going on a cruise in April, I would like to have a significant amount of weight off then, and I just don’t know how to start making a change….. to start over.
So my question is how do I break myself of my bad habits, without getting frustrated or bored??
Suggestions will be helpful!
Hey! I’m glad you finally got that off your chest. It’s not easy living life with something hanging over you like that. I can’t provide any suggestions on the breaking bad habits thing but I too, am wanting to do some work on my figure before the cruise and maybe if we worked together we can motivate each other…just a thought
Sounds like a plan stan!!